I don't hate it like I hate torture and child abuse -- with a strong belief that they should never happen. I hate it with a deep sadness and anger over how much it affects and how much it hurts. I hate that it became the right choice for us, even as I am certain that it was, indeed, the right choice. I hate that better choices weren't made sooner and that it impacts people who couldn't do anything about it.
And yet, I have hope. I have hope that living in two different homes doesn't need to mean that either of those homes are "broken". I have hope that life can be peaceful and that the dust will settle and we can sweep up and open the windows to let in the fresh air.
I am grateful. I am grateful to those who are supporting me during this time. I am grateful for feeling safe when I go to bed at night (in contrast to many others in the world) and for waking up each day and being able to use my body and be with other people. In the midst of being scared and overwhelmed, of looking for jobs and looking for housing, I have hope and I am grateful.
Thinking of you, Buffy. I'm glad that you're holding on to hope. <3
ReplyDeleteI hate it too. I hate that you guys all have to got through this, even though I know you are doing the right thing. Thinking of you...
ReplyDeleteI so agree with Lara's comment; I, too, am saddened by your situation, etc. - and at the same time, I am thankful and encouraged that you have hope and are thankful for the little things. (which in essence, are the BIG things!)
ReplyDeleteI am learning myself that being in a state of gratitude is such a good thing, in so many ways, and I strive to remain there; it feels right and good. I am thankful for YOU as well! Like I tell your brother, "Love you to the moon and back, and then some." :-) MOM
<3 <3
ReplyDeleteThanks, you guys.
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