"Often, children try to ignore or deny the pain of loss, rather than admit to and deal with it. They usually do so for one or more of these three reasons.
- They are determined to be strong. Therefore they 'stuff' their pain and feelings inside, put on a stoic face, and stalwartly go on with life, much to the relief of family and friends.
- They are simply too afraid of these unfamiliar feelings to say them out loud.
- No one has asked the child how she is feeling. Subsequently, she thinks there's something wrong with herself and tries to push away or deny her feelings.
"No matter how friendly their parents act during a divorce, in their heart of hearts, the children are distressed. They don't want their mom and dad to dissolve the marriage; they don't want to settle for seeing one parent on a part-time basis." p. 171
"Remember that to emotionally survive a death, separation, divorce, or family crisis, children need:
- Sufficient time to mourn the profound change that has occurred
- Permission to cry
- Knowledgeable, caring adults who reach out and support them." p. 177
This seems like a great book, full of really good information/support/help. I am glad that you found it and have been able to read it.
ReplyDeleteIt really is an excellent book, Mom. I'd recommend it to anyone who spends even a bit of time with children.
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